Leo Upsizes His Arizona Health Insurance!

Leornardo di Caprio knows that prior to the Titanic, he had little to show for except the perfect set of teeth he managed to maintain through his affordable health insurance.

Now, ten years after the Titanic, he still has little to show for. That is, if we are to believe Giselle Bichden.

Although he stands six feet tall, Giselle tells the US Weekly Sleazy that Leonardo is "is so small, I'd rather use my finger."

We will never know if this is true and, frankly, we DON'T want to see if this is true. But Leonardo is taking it all in stride, even bantering for a quote with the agent for his affordable Arizona insurance when he called in.

"Hey, do you have an affordable insurance plans to upsize my organ?"

"Nope, sir. We only have affordable Arizona insurance to upsize your false teeth."

"Do you want me to walk around looking like Woger Wabbit? I thought my affordable Arizona dental insurance only makes me look good."

"But Woger Wabbit is also cute, sir, and he also has an affordable health insurance in Arizona with us."

"Nah, I don't think so, just upsize my Arizona health insurance plan. I'm going to majorly need it after tonight."

What the health insurance agent is not lead to believe is that Leonardo is about to do a Bloody Diamond and make a scene at Giselle's.

As to what scene it is, we don't know. But you'd be glad to know that Giselle retracted her statements after that night.  As for Leo, we're half glad and half worried he landed in the hospital. The reason: major pains for having his teeth knocked out by too much pressure from Giselle's groin.

Well, you really don't have to have such an extreme reason for wanting cheap health insurance in Arizona. Just wanting to look good, that's good enough. For those in Texas, get a health insurance quote there!